My Mind

Before She Marries By Ohemaa Adjwoa Ofori

Every young girl growing up has this idea of marrying the man of her dreams

There’s a saying that before the head finds a good hat that fits, it would have to triumph over many obstacles.

Let me take the opportunity to highlight the ordeal some women go through before they finally meet their better halves.

It’s the dream of every woman that the first man who sees her nakedness goes on to ask her hand in marriage. Majority of the times it doesn’t happen so in fact in some instances, the first man to see her nakedness only got access because he raped her.   This becomes a scar they battle with their whole lives.

Some also fall into the hands of Charlatans who under the disguise of breaking spiritual yokes and setting them free from family shackles and clutches take advantage of these women.

Also some fall in the hands of bad Managers, teachers and unscrupulous bosses in the various institutions who in the name of either offering good grades or offering jobs take advantage of these vulnerable girls.

For some, before they settle a lot of men would have come under the pretense of love only to walk away after a night stand ,or give  flimsy  excuse and leave them heart broken.

Society has a way of complicating the issues for these young women with the unreasonable standards they set yet nobody really meets.

The pressure from family and friends asking these young women when would they get married, why are they have refuse to marry while friends are settling down, Compound the problems for these young women.

When they cannot handle the pressure any longer, some coil into their shells, some avoid fraternizing or socializing all together just because they want to avoid being look down upon or ridiculed

The last but not the least point to consider, is the issue of age and how it affects relationship.

From a purely love perspective age shouldn’t matter at all, after all it is just a number.

When young woman finds man who is relatively older than her, society frowneds on it disregarding the fact that they could genuinely be in love.

In situation where the age difference is quite close there is also the fear of lack of respect, familiarity sneaks in slowly and very soon the sweet romance end up in acrimony


Some woman stay with men not because they truly love them but because of where they could lay their heads.  In the end the lady turns to do chaos that wives do: washing, cooking and service the men just to make them happy.


Parents please don’t push your girls into such undesirable situation. It is imperative to note that if we do not break the cycle, this over burdening of girls could affect the children they nurture and guide.

A lot of women who cannot take these pressures from parents, relatives and friends accepts the proposal of any clown that comes their way just to keep society mute.

Aware Ne Kwan Wa (marriage has a long way)


Life has its own twists and turns, be careful of how we look down on unmarried women, the emotional and psychological stress they go through is not childs play.

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