Robert Mugabe himself under house arrest?

Robert Gabriel Mugabe is a Zimbabwean revolutionary and politician who has been President of Zimbabwe since 1987; he previously led Zimbabwe as Prime Minister from 1980 to 1987.

A lot of people do not seem to understand what is really happening in Zimbabwe because for once a lot of things are happening, a lot of noise from that country but the man Mugabe is no where to be found. I am sure he is hiding somewhere cooking some quotes to disintegrate the military one time.

The above notwithstanding,  Robert Mugabe has become famous – especially in Ghana through funny quotes. Many argue that he could not be the originator of all these funny quotes but also believe that 70% of these funny quotes could attributed to him.

A friend posted this comment on his Facebook wall, “If you guys allow the military to take over and do nothing it, who would be supplying you funny quotes going forward”?

Here are 20 funny quotes of  Mugabe, I am sure you can relate.

1. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than sending it to your mum and you realize witchcraft is real

2. It’s every man’s dream to remove a lady’s pants one day but not when its on a drying line

3. If u are ugly, u are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty coz men don’t walk with X – Rays to see inner beauty

4.Dear ladies if your boyfriends didn’t wish u a happy mother’s day, you should stop breastfeeding them

5. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father

6. Whenever things start going on well in your life, the devil comes along and gives u a girlfriend

7. Women with beauty and no brains, its your private part that suffers the most

8. Some girls of today can’t jog for five minutes, but they expect a guy to last in bed with them for 2 hours. Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade

9. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed

10. Dating a slim / slender guy is cool, the only problem is when u are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face

11. All I hear is “NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE”. If that was God’s plan then u would have receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day

12. Its hard to bewitch an African lady these days. Every time you take a piece of her hair to the witch doctor , either a Brazilian  innocent women gets mad or a factory in China catches fire

13. Respect pregnant women coz its not easy walking around with the evidence that u have had sex

14. It is better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it, than a woman to deny him a hole she didn’t drill

15. We are living in a generation where lovers are free to touch each others private parts but cannot touch each others phone.

16. Virginity is the best gift any man would like to receive from his newly wedded wife but these days there is nothing as such coz it will have already been given as Birthday gift,  Employment seeking token and Examination High score token

17. If u are a husband and finds your self being interested in a school girl, buy your wife a school uniform

18. Ladies never trust or love a guy who texts you “I MISS U” only when its raining coz u are not an umbrella

19. Keep every part of your  towel clean coz the part that cleans your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow

20. If you have attended 200 weddings and u are still single u are not different from a canopy.

Source :SmileCelebs

Related posts

Newspaper Headlines of Friday, 28th September 2018 (PHOTOS)

Richmond Addy

Shatta Wale Tells Sarkodie To Respect Himself

Richmond Addy

“Black Panther” to end Saudi Arabia’s 35-year cinema ban

Richmond Addy